Relationships 101: What women really want

The past two weeks, my relationship column has been directed towards the female audience. I have gotten questions for advice from men on what to say or how to act around their girlfriends or potential girlfriends. Well guys, you asked for it and now it’s your turn! Here is your relationship advice about what women really want.

One of the most common questions I hear guys ask is “why does she always play hard to get?” Well boys the answer to this one is simple. Girls want you to fight for them. It is one thing to say “I want to be with you” but is another thing to mean it and act on it.

Girls hear that line all the time and it means nothing to them if you don’t act on it. If you say that you want to be with her and she says “ok” but then starts to play hot and cold…don’t just move on to the next best thing. This is a girl’s way of testing you. Girls want to know if you are serious about what you say. If you just say it and assume she is going to make all the plans to hang out, think again. If you say something like that, girls want your actions to follow your words. Make plans, surprise her, and show her that you meant it when you said “I want to be with you”.

Another common question “why do girls always say ‘I don’t care’ ‘I don’t know’?” The answer to this is so easy. Girls want you to be able to figure out what they want. When a girl mentions random facts about her favorite coffee drink, snack, candy, food, or flower and then she says “I don’t know” or “I don’t care” it’s because she wants you to remember. Girls want guys to remember the random facts about them. If you ask a girl what she want for dinner and she says “I don’t care” and then you surprise her with her favorite food or take her to her favorite restaurant, she will know you not only listened to what she said, but you also cared about what she said.

One of the key things to remember with girls is we purposely play games with you to see if you really mean what you say. Girls want to know that you are serious about them and that you really do care about being with them.

My last piece of advice is for guys who are in what we like to call “the in between phase” there are two degrees of this phase and both can be extremely frustrating. The first part of the “in between” is the “getting to know you” phase. It is so important to get know the other person in a relationship. However, don’t make the girl feel like a stand in. If you are just saying you want to get to know her but you’re really just waiting for something else better to come along, don’t waste your time lying to us. Girls can ALWAYS tell when they are a stand in.

The second part of the “in between” is when you are with a girl for awhile and you two go on “a break”. There is a lot of disagreement as to whether or not there is such a thing as a break or if it is simply a break up, however, for today let’s say that there really is such a thing as a break. So you are on a break with your girlfriend and she says she needs time and space to think. So you do that, but still remain close to her. You end up sending her flowers on a bad day, texting her all the time and walking her to class, the usual stuff. Yet she is still not budging on her need for a break. Well guys, as harsh as this may sound, leave her alone.

While girls love to know that you are still thinking about them and you still want to be with them, sometimes girls really do need space. Majority of the time, a girl will ask for time and space alone because she is going through something that she doesn’t want you involved in. Such as: family issues, grades, friends, work issues or she is just trying to find herself. While in relationships, you should be able to talk about these issues, sometimes girls just want to be alone in trying to figure them out. Trust me, she will come around and talk to you about it eventually. If she doesn’t and she asked for time just so she can find someone new, then move on. You deserve better and like I said before, chances are there is someone out there who is better for you!

Well guys, I hope this helps you better understand the minds of women. Just remember this: your girl is with you for a reason. If you treat her right, listen to her, and remind her from time to time how amazing she is…then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Come back next week for more relationships 101!