Cheap beer has its place

Who likes cheap beer?

Nobody admits to loving cheap beer – but it’s out there, in many a dorm and beer pong cup. Most drink it because they’re broke.

It would be a disservice for me, a self-proclaimed beer cacahuate, to just ignore the realm of cheap beer. Besides, we could all stand to save a buck or two these days.

The popularity of cheap beers, or “big, dumb beers,” as I call ‘em, can’t be denied. I’d bet your first beer was something cheap and skunky. Never forget your big, dumb beer roots. Even the stuffiest of beer snobs have a big, dumb guilty pleasure, no matter how much they tell you they don’t.

What’s my big dumb beer of choice? Rolling Rock, from Latrobe Brewery.

You know Rolling Rock, the cool green bottle with the white letters etched on it.

Rolling Rock is labeled “extra pale,” which makes it sound a lot like something fancy. Unfortunately, it’s in reference to the way the beer looks when poured into a glass.

Also included is the phrase “premium beer.” It’s not. That’s marketing.

The reason for Rolling Rock’s cheapness is simple: it includes two ingredients that give microbrewers the chills: RICE and CORN (thus making a less expensive brew). Not only are they cheap, but historically they’ve also helped brewers get rid of flavor, like that pesky beer taste. It’s true.

So don’t expect a flying circus of flavor when you drink Rolling Rock. Expect a onslaught of fizz, followed by a light, tinkly corn flavor and a little bit of sweetness. There is almost no aftertaste, and at a piddly 4.6 percent ABV, no fuzzy afterglow. The beer gives the proverbial middle finger to my taste buds.

But I still drink it. Why? Context. I’d love to meet someone who chugs a Guinness after mowing a lawn, or takes an obscure, Bavarian import camping with them.

We don’t watch Family Guy for character development – the same way I don’t drink Rolling Rock to appreciate the hop and malt character.

For all I’m concerned, no one makes a big, dumb beer better than Rolling Rock. These beers go great with hanging out with friends, watching the Seachickens fumble the ball on TV, or congratulating yourself after a long evening of newspaper production.

Other beers in the cheap category either provide almost no flavor, or give you a terrible, otherworldly aftertaste. I’m sure you can think of some beers in this category.

This beer, along with other corny, ricey domestic brews (i.e. Bud Light), would be a good choice for inexperienced beer drinkers, or beerjins, as I call them.

So this week, celebrate your roots, set aside your prejudices and drink up, even if you have to hold your nose.