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When I came to Ellensburg for the first time, I
encountered some things that puzzled me. First of all, why
don't some Americans wear warm clothes in the snow? They
sometimes wear T-shirts and slippers outside in the snow. In
addition, they sleep with their window open in winter.
Secondly, why does Ellensburg have so many coffee shops?
Thirdly, why can we see a lot of antique shops in Ellensburg?
In this article, I would like to use my background as an
archaeologist to offer some possible explanations.
Why do some Americans wear T-shirts and slippers outside
in the snow and sleep in a room whose window is opened in
winter? Some might believe that these Americans have no
clothes, not shoes and no room like the poor girl who sells
matches in the tale. However, I have another opinion. I guess
that their activity is related to attracting a mate. Here is
the West. This land requires men to be tough like John
Wayne. In the old time, males demonstrated to women that they
were tough and had the ability to protect their family by
using a gun and fighting in bars. American females then
judged which man was the best. However, as you know,
Ellensburg has too many cops today. Males have been forced to
use another strategy to attract women. As a result, they do
not wear T-shirts in the cold like Sylvester Stallone in the
movie "Cliffhanger" and show to women that they are tough
enough to endure the cold. In addition, by opening windows
they show to their girlfriends that they wont need any
expensive heating equipment after they get married. I guess
that most American females are attracted by men who adopt
these activities.
Why does Ellensburg have a lot of coffee shops? Americans
like to go to a coffee shop rather than drink it at home.
Why? As one of many possibilities, they might be scared of
their partners in their homes, like Socrates, the famous
Greek philosopher, who had a horrible wife. If this theory is
true, Ellensburg must have a lot of philosophers. However,
why don't the men simply use vending machines? I think that
it is related to Ellenburg's history. Here is the West. I
can't imagine John Wayne using a vending machine. Years ago
when you wanted to drink a cup of coffee, most Americans like
John Wayne in the West would regard users of vending machines
as cowards. Why? You couldn't fight against someone in a bar
like John Wayne if you bought a cup of coffee at a vending
machine. Fighting needs an audience and a kind of dramatic
atmosphere. Can you fight against your enemy in front of a
vending machine? Most people would call the guy stupid. Why
did American males in Ellensburg begin to go to coffee shops
instead of bars? The reason is that most clever women didn't
go to bars. As a result, Ellensburg soon had a lot of coffee
shops. That is, American men could fight like John Wayne
against their enemy in coffee shops, where there would be a
guaranteed audience of women. However, as I already
explained, Ellensburg has too many cops today for fighting.
Today males can't use a coffee shop to attract women in this
way. Thus, many of the coffee shops you see now in Ellensburg
are very old, reminders of Ellensburg's glorious gunfighting
past.
Why does Ellensburg have a lot of antique shops? Whenever
I walk inside dormitories, I always see some posters
advertising an upcoming "party." People who attend these
parties need to buy gifts. It might lead to the increase in
antique shops. However, I have another theory. Today the
United States has a divorce rate of about 50%. This is the
highest in the world. In the past males in Ellensburg created
a method to keep their marriages alive. That is, they bought
some antiques and presented them to their wives as gifts.
Many antiques look more expensive than they really are. As a
result, the amount of antique shops has been increasing. I
guess that Ellensburg has a divorce rate now of 10% or
less.
In conclusion, some American's clothes, lots of coffee
shops and antique shops are related to American courtship and
marriage. If you want to know about Ellensburgs colorful
past, you should go to a coffee shop. If you want to attract
a mate, I recommend you always wear T-shirts in the cold. And
finally, if you want to keep your marriage intact, you should
often go to the antique shops to buy your wife a beautiful -
and cheap - gift.
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